Road Warrior Princess

Anatomy of an Addiction

Facebook went down for me today.  Not for long, but long enough for me to freak out, head for the nearest corner, and curl up in fetal position. 

I should be used to this by now, since I use Twitter.  But, I can't help it, because I am addicted.  When not using an acceptable liquid substitute, I self-medicate with social media (anyone who has heard this before from a certain BFF of mine, let it be known that he got it from ME).

So I took the time to reflect back on some of my past social media addictions.  A short timeline:

1998-2002: Genghis Khan Voodoo Chat

Yes, it was exactly what it sounds like (although, what does that name sound like?!).  However, I was 18, had just set up my very first Web site, and somehow found this chat room.  My sister and I had ENDLESS hours of fun confusing teenage boys (or their impersonators) as we took turns replying to questions, each trying to send the other sister into hysterical laughter with the responses:

HotCollegeDude: So, what do u like to do 4 fun?
<Us>: Im in a fight club
HCD: WHAT? That's weird for a girl
<Us>: Yeah, I'm the biggest one so I win alot.
<Us>: Oh, and I collect insects.
HCD: That's...uh...cool.
<Us>: And I like to bake. I want to have a business some day.
HCD: Awesome. Maybe u can make me somethn good? :-)
<Us>: YES! My fave cookies are like choc chip except I use some of the bugs I collect instead of choc chips. It combines my interests PLUS they are SO good for you, extra protein!!!
<HCD has left the chat>

2000-2002: CollegeClub

Now an online advertising paradise, CollegeClub was THE place to be when I was in college...up until I tried going out on a date with a guy I met on site.  This is when I learned that the sexier a guy's online name is, the creepier he will be.  This may also be the primary reason I got back together with my boyfriend.

2002-2006: The "Dark" Years

There was about a four year period where I didn't really have a social media addiction, possibly because I didn't have Internet access at home (too poor) and I got my fix broadcasting NET SEND msgs via the network at the office.  Good times, for everyone except the IT dept.

2006-...: MySpace

After my dark period (when I finally decided to PAY for cable and DSL instead of stealing unstable wireless from the neighbors), a couple of my friends decided to join MySpace.  So, I relented.  I had to knock a few cobwebs out, but I rediscovered my CSS coding skills and my love of PhotoShop.  My page became a glistening tribute to ME!  I finally had to make my profile private, though, as the creep ratio climbed (plus, being "friends" with people I avoid for a reason wasn't as appealing).  I still have the page, still check it, but it's now my "unprofessional" page.

2008-...: Twitter, Facebook, Dream.In.Code, etc.

This was the year that I really got into social media.  This has also been the year that I began preaching what I practice (no, that's not backwards, I've been doing it a long time and now I have the chance to tell others about it).  But, with all this networking, it's a full time job keeping up with it!  I don't want to pick favorites since these networks all have very different personalities, after all...

But...I've realized that having multiple social media gives me the opportunity to be ALL of myself, but break that self up into microcosms...the REALLY geeky side goes to Dream.In.Code, the wilder side to MySpace, the professional side to LinkedIn, the semi-professional-but-still-kooky-just-not-too-over-the-top side to Facebook.

Also, with my 10-year high school reunion rapidly approaching, I hope that I've been able cut at least a couple of awkward interactions off at the pass.  Because, let's face it - the things we say and do online seem a WHOLE lot weirder in RL (that's Real Life, not Second Life, you newb).

 

Stomach Stalker

I am being cyberstalked.

Not really by a person per se, but part of a person - it's awful.  Every time I log on to Facebook, there she is!  Taunting me, ridiculing me.  Looking at me.  Well, not really.  She really can't look at me because I am not sure that she has eyes.  You see, I'm being stalked by a stomach.

Sure, the shoes at iLike and the FreeCreditReport.com guy are also lurking there in the shadows, but they are not NEARLY as agressive as this stomach - well, THESE stomachs, because I think there is more than one.   

The good, the bad, and the ugly about technology comes down to targeted marketing.  Companies can put the right information in front of the consumer, based on their true interests, on perceived interests (passive, based on behavior the user exhibits), and even based on expected interests (those that you should have, based on details about you).  This last bit is why I think I'm being haunted.

I am female, and twenty-something.  CLEARLY I could stand to lose a few pounds.  Or...at least I should think I could.  As much as I want to look that stomach in the eye (*ahem* navel??) and tell it that my stomach is flat enough, thank you...I am starting to believe the stomach.   

The hardest thing about traveling is keeping in shape.  Gyms are often sub-par, it is nearly impossible to eat healthfully, and booze is everywhere.  Then, this darn stomach, appears, taunting me, telling me to forego that cheeseburger.  Curses!!

However, the point is that this targeted marketing is working - even on someone who should know better (since I peddle this stuff, natch).  But the strategy isn't perfect.  You see, I may be the target demographic for self-loathing and feelings of physical inferiority, but one glance at my group membership will tell you that I'm an active athlete.  So, although that stomach haunts me, I'm still not going to buy what it's selling!  It makes me feel a little more inadequate, but I'm the girl who will push herself harder in the gym (since I'll be there in the morning anyway). 

Bottom line: I hope they don't pay by the view, because the advertiser didn't filter the results carefully enough.  I am going to continue to defy that stomach (but not until after my workout). 

Survival of the...

I spend a lot of time alone at bars.  It's a job hazard.  No, I'm not a "lady of the night"...I just find myself traveling alone quite a bit, and I look like less of a loser (albeit more of a drunk) if I sit at the bar to grab a bite or to self-medicate.

However, I am currently not traveling, and yet found myself at the bar alone yet again last night.  Of course, I was waiting on friends who were running late, but I found myself feeling uncomfortable in my solitude for the first time since that incident at the Buffalo Wild Wings in South Dakota (Waitress: "Waiting on someone?" Me: "Nope, just here to watch the game."  Waitress: "Awwww...are you single?  Poor thing.").  People were looking at me.

I suppose I am the perfect prey for predatorial people (hey...alliteration!) at the bar.  People who see me there, alone, probably are just staring to figure out why I am there, alone.  ("What's that girl doing there alone?  Doesn't she have ANY friends?!?")  I realized this morning that I've inherited a set of survival skills from the 'rents that have equipped me for dealing with those people, and with life on the road.

From my father, I inherited my love of and patience during travel (even when it sucks), and the sense to detect predators in the area even before they approach.  From my mother, I received my sense of humor, and the innate ability to ruin any polite conversation with the sharp knife of sarcasm.  However, I also blame those people for my blonde hair and big lips - two of the reasons I have to continue to hone these survival skills.

All of this dawned on me this morning after last night's festivities, when I realized that I, and probably other traveling women, have to be specially armed for these sorts of things.  Why did I feel so strange about it last night?  I deal with this all the time, although not usually in my neck of the woods, so I think that's the key.  Traveling alone has made me cautious, suspicious, and cynical, but it's also given me a confidence to do things that a lot of people wouldn't do(and let's be honest, probably shouldn't do). 

Geez, I'm getting wistful.  What a wimp!  Time to get back on the road...

The List

After boarding a plane from Los Angeles at 6:45 am yesterday, I promptly fell asleep.  About an hour and a half later, I woke to a terrible realization.  It's 8:15 am, we still haven't left the gate, and I am sitting in the middle seat between two 40-year-old men, and thus without armrests.

This is what 400,000 miles on an airline will get you.  Four hours, three timezones, and 245 silent wishes for booze later, I still wasn't home and go to thinking: what happened to my resolution?

You see, late in 2006, I promised myself that 2007 was going to be the year.  The year that I started doing things the way I wanted to do them, the year that I made every trip a little about pleasure, the year that I started getting to all those places I haven't yet been.  Of course, I've made a little headway on that, but I still haven't made the commitment to get to those last few states (Utah, Montana, Delaware) or the big five international destinations I desperately want to visit.

Travel has always been a large part of who I am, but I keep getting weighted down by what I am "supposed" to do or what other people think I "should" do.  I've got to stop this.  Many who know me wonder why I can't be in the office more than a week without attempting to fling myself off of the 4th floor - it's just who I am, baybee.

So - halfway through this year, I am having a moment of clarity.  I've done my big trip for the year (China, natch) but I am going to actually commit to hitting at least one travel goal per year.   That means - get to one of the places on the list:

1. The 13 damn states I STILL haven't been to (Unfortunately, I've already hit AK, HI, CA, OR, NM, NY, etc., mostly the middle north-western states are left.  Good thing I like corn-fed white boys.)
2. Dubai (I don't care if I have to wear a scarf, I'm going)
3. Japan (Wrap me in a kimono and give me some sake.  Kampai!)
4. Yukon (I like moose.  And elk.)
5. Ireland (Guiness does a body goooood....BRILLIANT!)

My list will keep growing, and unfortunately Vegas has gotten in the way of me executing on much for this quarter, but stay tuned.  You know I'm good for it.

Anal Glaucoma

Anal Glaucoma (slang): A condition in which you just can't see your ass going in to work today.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit unmotivated.  What motivates me?  "Cool" stuff.

That's right, if I'm not actively working on a challenging project or one that I consider "cool", I lose motivation and get bored...which got me wondering what is, in fact, "cool".  Well, at least from a tech perspective.

Where I'm getting my most recent fix: thinking about mini-networks. 

Ning is a platform that represents elements of what some of my employer's clients are trying to do - build a mini-network for a specific cause. 

A close friend of mine recently wrote that social networking doesn't negate the fact that online fundraising is still all about the relationship.  But, is that what social networking has come to?  Another dollar stream?  What happened to the mission?

You gotta spend money to make money.  This may be true, but in my job, I have started to notice how many people have forgotten about the bottom line in NPO work - further the mission in everything you do. 

So, IMHO, people need to realize that although social networking may not immediately be the next goal mine, it will do a few things:

-Social networks will raise awareness.  I hear every day of organizations who desire "to engage the next generation."  Guess what?  Gen Xers waste a lot of time on the Internet, but they also waste a lot of time talking....about things they see online.  Engaging them in their comfort zone will spread the word in many ways.

-Social networks are best run out of a combination of marketing/development/programming.  This is not likely the place in which you're going to find your next major donor.  But it IS where you will find activists, volunteers, people who want to grow up and go on mission trips.  Eventually, yes, it may lead to dollars, as these passionate people move on to positions that allow them to be generous to the organizations that engaged them early.

-Social networks can help get the right people at the right time.  For one, any gigantic site like Facebook or MySpace linking to you is a good thing for your Google rating (more eyes may = more dollars).  But - give a cry for help when a piece of legislation is threatening your funding, and you will be surprised who comes to your rescue.  Some users of MySpace call this "whoring" - which is not a bad thing.   

So, it really is all about the relationship. You just have to realize that not all relationships are consummated in dollars. :-)

Gen Y, but no Y Chromosome

I am used to being in the minority.  Growing up, my family always celebrated our Latino heritage, even when ridicule was our reward.  I attended the prestigious North Avenue Trade School, known for its lack of female students.  When I moved into my current position, it was only a matter of time before I realized how few females (read: no females) held a similar position, and don't think I haven't noticed the pitifully small (though the ones that exist are phenomenal) number of female role models available in the technology industry.

With all of this life experience, I should have gained some perspective, no?  I like to think that I have, but that didn't stop me from feeling immediately uncomfortable when singled out in a fly-by meeting yesterday. 

I dropped in to discuss a meeting I had been requested for, and after the usual niceties, the bomb dropped.  One of the primary reasons (number TWO, in fact) that I had been requested for this project was because the rest of the team were white guys.  (Bet they didn't know they were getting a two-fer minority with me, eh?)  My heart sank.

Just like the female serial killer that has to work twice as hard for notoriety (that's a joke, well, in theory at least), I've spent the past 24 hours wondering what to think.  Is this a disadvantage?  Or, is this actually an advantage?

Rather than binge-drink myself into a spiral of self-pity, permit me to wax optimistic with the ideology I've adopted during the past few years.

The feminine wiles have been touted in many a poem, ballad, and suicide note.  However, I firmly believe that there are a few of them that set me (because really, I can't vouch for anyone else's wiles...well, except maybe my Mom or sisters...but only sort of) apart from the men I work with in the technology "biz":

1. Listening comes naturally.
We all know that women are collaborators.  Rather than talking over people, using "active listening" makes other feel at ease with you (perhaps even trust you), and gives you a chance to weigh the consequences before responding.  Therefore - less likelihood of embarrassment, provided that you do, at least occasionally interject, and, of course, provided there are men around you who embarrass themselves.  Listening also gives you fodder for the second wile.

2. Manipulation comes naturally.
When you listen, you learn things.  This means that you have enough information to make informed decisions (necessary leadership quality), and that you have information that can help you influence other people's decisions at some later juncture.  Flirting may have to become part of your process, but if you're really good at listening/manipulating others' decisions, at some point, those around you will trust you and not need the extra *ahem* persuasive argument. 

3. My desire to compete is on a different level.
Although my competitive streak is a mile wide (got that from my Dad, natch), I don't feel the need to compete against others relatively (again, I am not really tempted to talk over people in meetings that are "competing for attention"), but rather, compete by excelling.  Essentially, my idea of competing is not besting someone else, but improving and gaining respect, and being able to be respected.  I want to be "the best" but I think that such an accolade can be shared with others.  Novel idea, huh?  Sharing...

There are certainly men who share these characteristics, but they are not the majority.  I realize that I have been so blessed with success in advancing my career to this point, and in gaining the respect of my peers, and it is directly related to being given these tools.  So - I invite comments or at the very least, deep thought on this issue.  Am I right to be happy to be "a minority"? 

Heck, do I care?  I am really near-sighted anyway, so as far as I'm concerned, the atrium doesn't have a ceiling at all, much less a glass one.

Your Tweeting Makes Me Tired...

I *finally* uploaded all my photos of China.  I've struggled with whether to put them on Facebook, Flickr, MySpace, and who knows where else.  With all these media options, it took me longer (5 days) to figure out where to post them than to actually post them (3 hours).

How many accounts do you have?  How often do you use them?  Why even bother with more than one?  Aren't they all the same anyway?

The only thing I can figure is that it's kind of like collecting baseball cards.  You have accounts at a few places, and then you see that one of your friends has an account elsewhere...so you want one, too.  You join there, excited, then eventually find a new toy to play/network with.

Where does it end?  I don't see it ending right away, but thinking about this reminds me why the concept of social media is such a nebulous thing to a lot of the NPO's I talk with.  To get any benefit, you have to be everywhere at once:

-Blogging and media sharing are important for education and awareness.
-Facebook and MySpace give you access to the tech-savvy new generation of constituents.
-Twitter gives you a platform to blast immediate SMS to everyone you know.
-Hopefully, your Web site pulls it all together.

Without guidance, though, it's no wonder that most organizations have a hard time making sense of it.  Add to this the reality that social media hasn't really emerged as a cash cow for nonprofits.  Is it worth all the work?

My answer is YES, as long as you 1) have your priorities straight and 2) have a strategy.  Otherwise, your blogging/tweeting/status updating is going to wear you out!

By priorities, you have to understand that social media is about communication and information, not raising money.  As part of a program that serves your mission, it's a no-brainer.  Money may come later, but it may not come at all.  At least, it might not come through a TweetStream.

By strategy, you have to know what your goal is and how you will define success.  A post I read on the NTEN Web site summarized a book about this topic quite nicely.  I was especially pleased to see that choosing a Technology platform came as a last step, not the first - something I've always thought was wise. 

Now you may be thinking, "So, Roadwarriorprincess, your ranting has worn ME out.  Get to the point!  Which one did YOU choose for the China pics?" 

I'm really bad with commitment - always have been - so I put them in a few places.  The quickest links are below.

The Great Wall
Street Food
People & Sights
Ancient Relics
Shanghai

Bye, bye, Shang-hai

It feels so good to drink champagne again! As much as I like beer, and as delicious as the fried scorpion and cobra were, I certainly have missed some of the Western normalcies.

I really loved visiting China, but unlike many trips, I am glad it was a visit. I am ready to get home and nurse my wounds after running (and shuffling, and what seemed like scaling at times) 13.1 miles on the Great Wall of China. It was incredible, painful, and I ran a lot faster than I thought I'd be able to run. Take a look at the photos, and you will see why this is such an accomplishment for an average Jane like me.

I will cherish all of what I've absorbed here. I loved learning about the Chinese tea ceremony, the palaces, and the food. Although I still love the UFC, I truly enjoyed sitting in the hotel with a Tsing-Tao watching Sumo Wrestling (WHY has this sport not taken off in America? It has EVERYTHING that should appeal to American males with short attention spans: giant fat dudes violently clashing for 5 seconds, but only after downing liquor shots ring-side). Of course, I will especially cherish the new friends I have made.

Will I do it again? Maybe not this race, but I will embark on other adventure races. And I might even spring for the full marathon next time (why do the half when you paid for the full - right, Joe?).

Dodgy Massage-ey

Beijing is a city of close calls. On the street, in the market, in the back alleys. As I leave for Shanghai, I reflect on the many near-misses and just-made-its we've had in this brief trip.

Let me give you an example.

I've made many wonderful friends here, many of whom I hope to keep for life. One, Andrew, had perhaps the funniest near-miss of the trip.

Whether it was an alcohol buzz or a momentary lapse of judgment, he parted ways with friends at about 1 am, determined to find relief for his tired legs (after all, we had finished the Great Wall Marathon the day before). Rather than return to the hotel with them, he walked back alone, intent on finding a late night massage joint that he had spotted on the trip out to the bar.

He continued to walk, despite the frequent invitations of pimps and working girls. Finally, an attractive young woman approached. "You want a girlfriend tonight?"

"No," he replied. "I just want a massage. That's it!" "OK! Come with me! I show you place!"

I am not sure what about this girl, or the cab they got in, or the back alley house they finally arrived in front of looked trustworthy, but he went with her and found himself presented with a number of girls. "You take two!" the house madam commanded. He chose only one, but wound up with two anyway.

The story ends with Andrew asking one girl to leave, which provokes a shouting match between the two girls, which summons the bodyguards to the room, which leads to Andrew being served the bill that he can't fully pay, which instigates a louder argument...and finally, terrified, Andrew throws the money he has at them and tears out of the house.

He made it to a taxi, and then the hotel, safely, but barely.

Yet another close call. Andrew will have to bear the burden of our jokes about the "dodgy massage-ey" forever, but it definitely beats being caught in a knife fight with a Chinese hooker.

A Realization

I have entirely lost my mind.

Today, I got my first glimpse at the Great Wall, and boy, it was leg-numbing and mind-blowing.

After meeting up with the group at 5 a.m. Beijing time (that would be 5 IN THE EVENING as far as my body is concerned), we took a 3 hour bus ride out to the wall. It was incredible - beyond any photos or videos I've ever seen. We were there in order to "inspect" the wall before the race.

What I didn't realize was that "inspect" = "do a complete walk-through". I quickly realized that I have gotten myself in over my head!

The Great Wall of China is not one complete wall. It is made up of many sections, constructed by different emperors. In fact, many of the bricks bear distinct characters that tell you which dynasty they came from. Beijing alone has 7 different sections, and the one that we arrived at is particularly treacherous!

To put this in perspective, only about a half of the Wall section is even suitable for actually walking - much less running! (My estimate of that is 1% that is suitable for running). Vertical stairways, narrow passages, and treacherous rockways (not to be confused with actual walkways) make it extremely perilous...but it gets better...Saturday's weather forecast says HEAVY RAIN!!

My legs are already tight and a bit sore. This gonna be one hell of a run.